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Gruntipedia Fun: Jerk
As many of you are no doubt aware, any society has its Jerks (or Moronus jackassus). The Jerk is the most basic form of all, and the most common. The species has many variants, of which I can only provide the most common. I would lik to apply to you, the readers, to post different subspecies of Jerk (with appropriate latinized moniker), and the best method to deal with them... Types of Jerks Jerk: In it's most basic form, the jerk is simply someone who's behavior is absolutely unbearable, and would result, if he were actually in the same room as all the other players, in physical violence The jerk employs various forms of insults and yo-mamma jokes, also resorting to randomly teabagging members of his own team and the enemy. Normally however, his instructive biological epitaphs are hurled at the other team. More uncommon is the Team Jerk (Teamus Insultus), which will not hesitate to verbally attack its own team. The best way to deal with jerks of this order is to agree with them on occasion about the insults it fires at the other team, and mute it if it starts on you. Idiots (Moronus Supremus): This form of Jerk is not a Jerk on purpose, but rather as an atribute of its extra low intelligence. Low as, say, the size of your penis. These forms of jerk are often well aware of their extreme stupidity, and will lash out at anyone who makes a point of it. Say, by grabbing the banshee, and getting it stuck in the base in Valhalla, well within skyjacking reach. Dealing with this one is touchy, since it will recognize suggestions as references to its intelligence. Make commands, and be forceful. More often then not, the idiot will be cowed by short, easy to understand, and LOUD orders. Teamkillers (Teamus Homocidus): A TK is one of the most annoying, as it actively goes out of its way to attack its own team members because they are pathetic and has no life. Let it. The TK will only attack once, fearful of a boot. It is also possible to commit suicide in such a way that you can boot it, and remove the threat of a gun at your back from the game. Tks can be recognized by the anger they display after such events as: Kill stealing, power weapon race lose, and by constant grenade spamming, no matter who is in their way. TehBoss (Imaginus Commandus):These players think they are in charge of everything. Normally, only people that have a high rank(officers) have enough EXP to take charge, but TehBoss is usually a low level smartass that assumes that it is the only one that knows what to do. Surprisingly, the best way to deal with them is to do what they say. Once. If it doesn't work, you may conviently use it to shut them up anytime they try to issue orders. If it works, as sometimes the plans do, then ally yourself with TehBoss, and do what they say. More often than no, if they were right the first time, they will be right enough for you to win. Loudmouth Know-it-alls (Screechus Smartassus): These players think they know evething despite of their rank. They seem to have this insane delusion that everyone but themselves are idiots. I've also encountered some that make up wild lies about impossible kill streaks etc. The best way to deal with them is to mute them when they began squealing because you or a teammate did something "stupid". You can also go along with these bastards deranged battle tactics then you can attempt to bring them to the light. But that might make them angry so they will turn on you and began a torrent of yo moma jokes and the dreaded noob tactics. Best. Bet is to ignore them and accidently kill them with greandes or warthogs. Officer of Trash (Commandus Garbagus): These players are basically a crossbreed between Teamus Insultus and Imaginus Commandus. Becuase of their high rank, they feel safe to insult anyone of a lower rank than them, feeling, probably correctly, that if anyone takes offense, they can be "dealt with." They are most commonly high ranking officers, and will insult people below them as losers and above them as hackers. Dealing with them is as simple as pushing the mute button, as they will turn on anyone who happens to agree with them Category:Assholes Category:Things that suck Category:Madness